Monday, December 14, 2015

Respite weekends...

We've done respite for foster care five times now, and it has been such a blessing! I sometimes wonder what the point of us being miraculously able to get licensed was since we won't be able to do much in the coming months, but I just pray that the little we've done has been of some value. These kids are so amazing. I just love them. Since they usually only stay for the weekend, it's a little like playing auntie for me, since we get to have fun without having the daily pressures being a parent brings about. Our kids think of it as a sleepover, and get excited when their friends are coming over. Long term, we're still not certain what to do right now. I'm thinking that our time in Nebraska will have to be respite only, and once we get re-stationed, we can do something long term.
So, I wrote that first part during the middle of the visit, but there was an incident when the kiddos went back "home" that just left me heartbroken. A reminder that this isn't playing auntie, that this is giving these sweet little children & their foster families a break from their reality. Looking back over the little moments over the weekend and I see how they add up to children who desperately need love and stability. One of these sweet babies was so happy to go to bed after hearing I'd be tucking them in again...little things we take for granted. These two sweeties now cheer for our football team, and I wonder if it's because it makes them feel like they are a part of something. I also think about how being a full time foster parent has got to be the most heartbreaking thing anyone has ever done...to have the patience to put the pieces of these children's lives back together, and dealing with the anger and hurt that they display on a daily basis. Or having to say goodbye after loving them for months or years...I feel all heartsick and mama bear worried about these kids that I've watched for three weekends.  I beg you guys to pray for these souls. For the little ones who are stuck in the system through no fault of their own. For their parents-that they would be able to overcome whatever devils are in their lives. For foster families-that they can continue with patience and love.

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